It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
