I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
