he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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