Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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