you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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