school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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