What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
