She said her name was "party"
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
