It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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