Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
