Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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