We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
