someone threw a dead crab at me
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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