Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize
