Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
