I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
