Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
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