Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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