I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
so explain again why im purple
no
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
