she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Randomize
