Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
