My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
