I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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