sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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