Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
