turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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