Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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