He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
