I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
