Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
