apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Come on in and take your pants off
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
