I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
You should frame my arrest warrant.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
