"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Just high enough for therapy.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
