dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You made out with two different species that night
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
