who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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