It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Randomize
