I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
