party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
