Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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