hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize
