His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
