Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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