Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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