I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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