Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
