you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
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