He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
tell me about the eggs
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
