do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
