Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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