I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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